Monkey See, Monkey Do
by lawless523
Summary: Shuichi accompanies Eiri to Kyoto for a book-signing. The usual nonsense happens. Set after the events of the manga. First in a series of stories about their trip to Kyoto.


_**Monkey See, Monkey Do**_

_**Rating/Warning: **_M for some rude (but less rude than normal) language and an overt reference to anal sex. The usual insults are also present. This story deals with male lovers. If this disturbs you, why are you reading Gravitation fanfiction?

_**Disclaimer: **_I don't own these characters and I don't make any money from them; Maki Murakami, Gentosha, TokyoPop and RightStuf do. I do, however, let the guys out to play . . . with each other.

_**Summary: **_Shuichi accompanies Eiri to Kyoto for a book-signing. The usual nonsense happens. Set after the events of the manga. First in a series of stories about their trip to Kyoto.

_**Word Count**_**: **4,178 words, not including introduction and author's note.

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"No."

"Why not?"

"It's stupid."

"Awww, you just don't want to go."

"Damn right. Last time I went my index finger was nearly bitten off. You'd have suffered if that had happened."

"Why would I have suffered?"

"How would I prep you for sex without an index finger, dumbass?"

The other man fell quiet. "Good point," he eventually conceded. "How old were you?"

"Seven, and I've never been back since."

"Was your family with you?"

"No, for some reason we were on a school trip."

"Well, I've never been."

"And I've never been to Antarctica, but that doesn't mean I want to go. Just drop it, okay, kid?"

"How can you keep calling me 'kid' when I'm twenty-one years-old?"

"Act your age. Wanting to see some goddamn monkey sanctuary," the other man scoffed.

"Pleeaase?" The younger man looked up at him, his mouth drooping and his sad puppy dog eyes pleading his case. Only someone with a heart of stone would remain adamant when confronted with such a look.

"I told you. What part of 'no' don't you understand?"

"But Yuuki!" The younger man jumped up and tried to grab his lover's shoulder but instead slid down his arm.

"Stop humping my arm. Hmpph," the assaulted one said, crossing his arms as the other man slowly fell to the floor. "All right, if it's a choice between the monkey park and you hurting yourself, I guess your hurting yourself is worse. But not by much," he added. "How did you find out about the monkey park anyway?"

"I checked out the Kyoto tourism website."

"How? You don't own a computer, dimwit."

"I used yours."

"When did you do that? And I don't remember giving you permission to use my laptop."

"I did it while you were out buying beer. And you didn't. I thought that getting these matching rings meant that what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine." Shuichi hopped several steps away, anticipating retaliatory action.

He got it. The taller man took a step toward him, wrapped his hands in his hair, and pulled up. "We're not married, you punk, and never will be. Keep your paws off my stuff, okay?"

Shuichi pulled out of Eiri's grasp and threw his arms around him, aware that Eiri was unlikely to hit him when he was hugging him. He had aimed for Eiri's waist but due to the height difference it looked more like he was groping Eiri's hips. Moreover, he'd learned that if Eiri didn't pull his hair hard enough to make his eyes water, he didn't really mean it.

Eiri sighed, bent down and fluffed his lover's hair, and tried to break free so he could retrieve his jacket.

That is how celebrity couple Eiri 'Yuki' Uesugi, acclaimed romance novelist, and Shuichi Shindou, J-technopop star, wound up traveling to the Arashiyama Monkey Park Iwatayama on the western outskirts of Kyoto the afternoon before Eiri's big book-signing at a bookstore in downtown Kyoto. Shuichi, who was usually stuck in Tokyo writing songs, recording, or making appearances while Eiri was on the road for his book tours, had made a point of reserving time to accompany Eiri on this leg of the tour. In exchange, Eiri had insisted that this book tour be conducted in a more leisurely manner than usual so he could return to Tokyo and Shuichi between book-signings and appearances.

Even though Kyoto was Eiri's hometown and his father and younger brother still lived there, they were staying at the Westin Miyako Kyoto Hotel rather than at Eiri's boyhood home. The last time Shuichi had been to Eiri's father's, he'd pretended to be Eiri's then-fiancée, insulted Eiri's father, and ruined his engagement. As a result, Shuichi was not welcome in the Uesugi household. Eiri had returned home twice since then, but after those awkward courtesy visits, he had decided that if Shuichi wasn't welcome there, neither was he.

Although Shuichi had told Eiri he should still visit his father on family occasions and holidays even if Eiri had to go without him, he wasn't foolhardy enough to risk the elder Uesugi's ire by trying to visit. He regretted the necessity of staying away from his lover's family, but he understood it. Besides, Eiri's brother Tatsuha, with whom Shuichi usually got along, was planning on meeting them for dinner the following night after the book-signing, so it wasn't as though they were going to miss out on family togetherness entirely.

They emerged at the Arashiyama train station and headed for the Togetsu-bashi. /1/ Since they were famous and their faces well known, they had to adopt disguises of sorts to travel in public without an armed escort. Shuichi was wearing a bandana over his hair, which he had temporarily dyed back to its original color, sunglasses, and a Champion sports outfit with a hoodie. It never ceased to amaze Eiri that Shuichi wore baggy shorts almost all year round.

Eiri wore sunglasses, which weren't must of a disguise as he normally wore them outside during the day, and tried, not entirely successfully, to part his hair differently. He also wore more casual clothing than usual: jeans and a flannel shirt layered over a Bad Luck t-shirt under a scuffed, well-worn bomber jacket.

They followed the signs to the monkey park, the entrance of which was next to a shrine situated on the river bank, and walked up a set of stairs to the entrance. Eiri said, "This was your idea, idiot, so you can pay for your own ticket," as he bought himself a ticket. Shuichi looked at him, sighed, and decided not to argue about it as he followed suit. The tickets were only 520 yen anyway, so it wasn't like it would bust his budget. /2/

They exchanged their tickets at a kiosk for small fans with monkey pictures on them and a pamphlet. The woman behind the counter pointed to the trail winding up a hill. /3/

Shuichi saw how steep the hill was: it probably rose a meter for every meter traveled. He wasn't sure how many degrees that was, as math hadn't been his forte in school (in fact, school hadn't been his forte period), but it certainly looked forebodingly steep. He hadn't noticed any warning about this on the website where he had found the information on the park.

Fortunately, he wore sneakers most of the time anyway, so he had the right footwear on. Since he was also wearing sports attire, he figured he was set. He wasn't so sure about Eiri; his main forms of exercise were walking around the local park when he had writer's block and energetically engaging in sex with Shuichi. He glanced over and noticed that at least Eiri was wearing walking shoes, not dress shoes.

The weather was starting to warm up and walking up the hill was making them warmer still. Shuichi began to break a sweat. Eiri pulled a water bottle out of his jacket pocket and started drinking from it. Shuichi wiped his forehead with his the end of his sleeve, wishing he'd had the foresight to bring water with him. He could always ask Eiri for a sip of his water, but he'd rather skip the side dish of snark he knew would accompany it.

It felt like the trail up the hill went on forever. When would they get to the top where they could see the monkeys? Shuichi thought that maybe he should have asked Eiri questions about the park instead of adopting a nonchalant air of knowledge. All he knew about the park was its existence, location, and hours, which he'd found on a Kyoto tourism website. He'd gotten so excited about seeing monkeys he hadn't bothered to check the park's website. Maybe that was a mistake.

He wondered how long they'd been walking. It felt like hours but had probably only been a few minutes. /4/ As before, he could ask Eiri, who wore a watch, but that would only yield the current time. Since he hadn't noticed what time it was when they arrived, that wasn't very helpful. Eiri might know how long they'd been climbing, but he was sure to exact some sort of price for the information, even if it were only to remark once again that this proved it was useful to wear a watch rather than to rely on his cell phone for the time.

Shuichi started to get out of breath in addition to sweating a little, and looked over at Eiri. He was panting a little too but he wasn't sweating visibly like Shuichi was. Shuichi swore to himself. Not only did his lover look cool and act cool, he was cool. It was extremely annoying.

After what seemed like a lifetime, but was probably only the duration of a few Bad Luck songs, they emerged in the midst of a clearing. Three monkeys sat right in front of them, with no enclosures or fences to keep them separated from the visitors. It looked like a monkey family: one was clearly a baby, one was a medium-sized adult, and the third was noticeably larger than the other two.

Shuichi whooped for joy and was about to dash over to monkeys until he felt strong, determined hands clutching the back of his hoodie. "Hold up," a voice behind him said.

He turned around. Eiri was frowning at him and almost holding him off the ground by the hood. "Dumbass. Haven't you read the pamphlet yet?"

"No," Shuichi admitted, wondering when Eiri had time to read the pamphlet.

Showing some eerie extrasensory abilities, or perhaps tapping into his Buddhist monk upbringing, Eiri said, "I looked at the pamphlet just after we left the kiosk. It figures that you would be the kind of person who doesn't read warnings about new appliances until after you've injured yourself or the appliance. Well, I'm not interested in having to take you to the hospital, and like I said I almost got my finger bitten off the last time I was here."

He pulled out his pamphlet, opened it up to the warnings inside, which were done in comic strip form so even a little kid could understand them, pointed and said, "Look. Even a kindergartener could understand this."

Shuichi looked at the drawings of an "x" above a picture of a woman petting a monkey, an "x" over a dotted sightline running from a woman to a monkey, and an "x" over a man handing a monkey an apple. "Give me credit for being as smart as a kindergartener, Yuki. I get it. We're not supposed to pet the monkeys, look in their eyes, or feed them."

"And what were you about to do before I stopped you?"

"I wasn't going to pet them, honest! I just wanted to get closer –"

"Likely story. It sure looked like you were going to give them a great big hug and look right into their eyes as well. Besides, there were signs along the trail with the same warnings. I bet you didn't notice them either."

Shuichi feigned deafness and didn't reply to this entirely justified accusation. "Okay, now that I know what you're not supposed to do, can you let me go, please?" he asked, since Eiri had maintained his stranglehold on the back of his hoodie the entire time. If he didn't let go soon, Shuichi would pretend to choke to get back at him for it.

He didn't have that pleasure, as Eiri let go as he'd asked. Shuichi wiggled his shoulders and shook his head rapidly from side to side to resituate his hoodie the way he liked it in the manner of a cat licking its fur back the way it likes after being petted, and marched off to meet his compatriots. It was times like this that convinced Eiri that Shuichi shared more than 96% of his DNA with monkeys. /5/

Now that Eiri was no longer holding onto Shuichi's hoodie, they paused to take a look around. Monkeys surrounded them and gazed at them from the shrubs, the trees, and the grass. Monkeys sat and nuzzled and picked grubs off each other's backs.

Eiri thought the monkeys looked remarkably human. He could have sworn he'd seen Shuichi look like the monkeys who were sitting and nuzzling or picking grubs off each others' backs when he'd nuzzled Eiri's neck or given him backrubs. He thought that maybe this similarity was the reason why Shuichi wanted to come to the monkey park to begin with. He was getting more fodder with which to tease Shuichi, which was a game that was almost too easy to play.

Since Shuichi had just handed him another opportunity to torment him on a silver platter, Eiri decided not to complain any further about the visit, barring an unexpected turn of events. He spotted the enclosure he'd remembered from before where the humans could sit protected from the monkeys and made a beeline for it, yelling to Shuichi to let him know where he was going. Shuichi was still enamored of the little buggers and was trying his best not to look them in the eyes while taking pictures of them with his cell phone. Monkey see, monkey do, Eiri thought.

From Eiri's perspective, the situation improved dramatically once he got inside the enclosure: the snack bar sold beer. Even though it wasn't his normal brand, beer was beer, so he sauntered over, purchased himself a beer, and perched on the ledge of a display about the type of monkeys in the park. Since the snack bar also sold food for visitors to feed the monkeys through the wire mesh of the enclosure, he expected Shuichi to show up there eventually. From what he remembered and the antics of the monkeys being fed by the other humans in the enclosure, he was sure the sight of Shuichi feeding the monkeys would provide its share of amusement as well. In the meantime, he watched the people watching and feeding the monkeys and stopped paying attention to Shuichi, who was outside the enclosure and hard to see from where he was anyway.

Shuichi reveled for the moment in seeing the monkeys outdoors with no obstacles preventing them from roaming freely. He had one scare when he got too close and looked a little too directly at a monkey who started hooting and hollering and baring his teeth. Shuichi quickly backed up and turned away, but not too abruptly, as he didn't want to freak the monkey out any further by sudden movements.

After awhile, he tired of taking pictures. He looked around and spotted the enclosure. Since that was where Eiri was, that was where he headed.

He looked around for Eiri as soon as he entered. Since Eiri was sitting on a ledge and not on a bench like a normal human being, it took a little while to find him. Eiri, however, spotted Shuichi right away because he'd been keeping an eye on the entrance. He didn't wave at him in order to see how long it took Shuichi to spot him. He even looked at his watch and timed how long it took. Almost five minutes.

Eiri stood up when Shuichi darted over to him, not sure whether to be amused or insulted. He hissed "Not here" when it looked like Shuichi was going to give him a big hug. Shuichi settled for giving his arm a squeeze and said, "I see you found something to drink."

Eiri, who had finished his beer by then, nodded and held up his empty cup. "Yeah, they serve beer. I didn't remember that from my previous trip. They frown on serving beer to seven year-olds."

Shuichi took a look at the menu. "Hey, Yuki, they sell monkey food! You can feed the monkeys here!"

"Yeah, I know. D'you want to get something for yourself? I'll even spring for a snack and a drink."

"Sure, Yuki! That's really sweet of you. Thanks."

They went over to the counter where Shuichi picked up a bag of chips and a soda, as he'd found that on a hot day drinking beer increased his thirst instead of quenching it. Once he had finished, he wanted to buy some monkey food but he had a sneaking suspicion Yuki would balk at paying for it. Eiri bought another beer. It was a good thing he was used to it; at the rate he was going, he would have been buzzed before they left if he wasn't already a regular beer drinker.

They sat back down and the two of them ate and drank in companionable silence. Eiri continued to pay more attention to the people than the monkeys and Shuichi enjoyed the monkey's antics. He noticed the baby monkeys were being used as bait by their elders. Either the adult monkey would knock the little monkey out of the way and take its place on the fence after the little monkey had taken a single treat or the adult monkey would swipe the treat from the little monkey's grasp. It was survival of the fittest and dog-eat-dog competition, if monkeys were dogs. In any event, it was heart-rending to see how the older monkeys exploited the cute babies.

Shuichi was determined to make sure that the hapless baby monkeys got some food. Perhaps some aspects of his relationship with Eiri, who not only was taller, heavier, and older (only by four years, even though everyone, including Eiri, acted like he'd robbed the cradle when he'd hooked up with Shuichi) but was more intimidating and sometimes bullying, motivated his compassion for the little monkeys.

After he threw the debris from his soda and chips in the trash can like the conscientious environmentalist he wanted to be, he walked over to the snack bar and purchased a bag of peanuts. The signs instructed him to only take out one snack at a time and hide the rest, so he stuffed the bag in a pocket after extracting a peanut and went over to the chicken wire surrounding the enclosure with his hand outstretched.

The baby monkey he approached snatched the peanut away and hopped down, having learned that in most cases he would be shoved out of the way anyway. Shuichi looked for another baby monkey to feed. In the meantime, several adults were clamoring for the treats. Since no babies were in the vicinity, he held a peanut out to them and was startled when they fought over it. The peanut fell from their grasp and they jumped down and dashed after it.

Eiri sat sipping his beer and watched this display with amusement. He could tell that Shuichi desperately wanted to feed the smaller monkeys at the expense of the big bullies and hoped he wouldn't carry it so far as to get injured. It wouldn't be as bad as it would be if he were still playing keyboards, but Tohma would never let him hear the end of it if Shuichi were injured and had to miss work because Eiri took him to the monkey park.

Shuichi was feeding mostly the smaller monkeys now. He discovered that it was better to feed them one at a time and let them leave and come back. That way they were less likely to be ambushed.

He was enjoying himself when he got a little careless and a monkey raked his fingertip with its sharp claw. He brought the finger to his lips and licked the oozing blood off, as he didn't see a water fountain or someplace else he could run water over the finger. He gave away the rest of the peanuts more carefully and walked back over to Eiri, looking at his finger.

"I see you got a little boo-boo," Eiri said, smiling sarcastically.

"You wanna kiss it and make it better?" Shuichi asked, holding it out.

"Not here, brat. I'll clean it out and put a bandage on it when we get back to the hotel." When he and Shuichi traveled together, he put a few bandages, cotton balls, and an antiseptic in his shaving kit just to be on the safe side.

"For all they know, we're brothers," Shuichi pouted.

"You are kidding, aren't you? Even Tatsuha and I get funny looks sometimes, and we look a lot alike. No one's going to believe I'm your brother, what with the difference in height and skin tone, and besides, what brothers wear matching rings on the same goddamn finger?"

"Aww, I was just kidding, Yuki. Don't get your panties in a bunch."

"You ready to leave?"

"I guess so. I'd like to feed them some more, but I don't want to chance getting scratched again, and it's hard to get to the littlest monkeys. Aren't they cute?"

"Yeah. No cuter than you, though." This last statement was made in a low voice for fear of being overheard.

Shuichi looked like he was going to pass out. Eiri almost expected sparkles and flowers to appear in the air around him. "Oh, Yuki!" he exclaimed. "That's so sweet!" If Eiri hadn't glowered at him, he would have flung his arms around him and kissed him.

As they departed, Shuichi pulled his cell phone out and looked at it sadly. "I'd like to get a picture of the two of us with some monkeys, but I don't know who to ask to take the picture."

Eiri said, "I think if you hand the phone to one of the employees, they'll do it for you."

"Great! Yuki, I want you to be in the photo too so this will be a memory we can share."

"Only if we just stand next to each other. None of this lovey-dovey stuff. I'm surprised as it is that no one's recognized us, although a lot of these peoples are foreigners and probably don't know who we are."

"Okay." Shuichi sought out a park employee to take a picture "of me and my friend", and the employee obliged. It turned out that the staff had trained the monkeys to stand still for pictures they took by always giving them a treat afterward.

Just as they were turning around to head down the path, one of nearby monkeys who hadn't been in the picture took exception by picking up some monkey dung and flinging it. He missed Eiri, who was trying to hightail it out of there before Shuichi changed his mind about leaving, but got Shuichi's head and back.

Eiri wasn't sure whether to laugh or be angry. If it weren't for the horrified look on Shuichi's face, he would have opted for laughter, but clearly this was too much for his Shu-chan, especially at the end of a visit that had gone well, or at least better than expected. He smothered his laughter and acted the part of a good boyfriend, asking Shuichi how he felt and approaching the nearest park employee to ask where the rest rooms were.

The employee pointed to a small hut a short way away, and the two of them ran to it. Shuichi was shaking his head trying to get some of the poo out of his hair, but Eiri put his arm on his shoulder to get him to stop. "You're just making it worse," he said. "Until it's dry, shaking your head like a wet dog will only spread it around more."

Shuichi had to admit Eiri was right, but damn, it felt horrible. He felt betrayed by his monkey friend, but reflected that there always was a bad apple hiding somewhere in the barrel. Maybe this monkey was the sanctuary's version of Taki Aizawa: someone who couldn't stand it if anyone else was doing well, no matter how good his life was.

Shuichi bent over the sink while Eiri ran water over his hair and carefully tried scrubbing it. After he turned off the water, Eiri got paper towels and vigorously rubbed Shuichi's wet hair with them until it was mostly dry. Shuichi also washed the wound on his finger. He took his hoodie off and they tried scrubbing it but gave it up as a bad job. After drying the hoodie to the best of their ability, Shuichi draped it over his arm so the dirty part didn't touch him to let it dry out. He would leave it with the laundry at the hotel after it was dry.

Since they were alone and in private, Eiri couldn't resist giving Shuichi a quick kiss and caress. It took all of his self-control to limit himself to one. Satisfied they'd done as much as they could under the circumstances about both the monkey doo and their feelings about each other, they headed down the pathway toward the train that had brought them there. All in all, Eiri thought, the visit went better than expected, although he wasn't sure Shuichi would agree with him.

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/1/ "Togetsu" is variously translated "crescent moon", "reflected moon", or "moon crossing". "Bashi" means bridge. The bridge is also called the Togetsukyo Bridge. For a photograph of Togetsu-bashi and of the monkey park, see the Wikipedia article about Arashiyama: .org/wiki/Arashiyama

/2/ Based on the March 18, 2009 exchange rate of .0104027 dollars per yen, 520 yen equals $5.41.

/3/ Technically, the denizens of the monkey park are Japanese macaques.

/4/ It takes about half an hour to reach the monkeys' location.

/5/ In actuality, between 96 and 99% of the human and chimpanzee DNA genomes are identical. See, for example, "Chimps, Humans 96 Percent the Same, Gene Study Finds," Stefan Lovgren, _National Geographic News_ (August 31, 2005), which can be retrieved at the following web address:

.com/news/2005/08/0831_050831_chimp_.

Darwin was right. We are related to monkeys.

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A/N – Monkey park + Eiri and Shuichi = hilarity.

I discovered the existence of the Arashiyama Monkey Park Iwatayama while doing research on Kyoto for another story. It struck me as exactly the type of tourist attraction that Shuichi would like and Eiri wouldn't, so I felt compelled to write a story in which Shuichi drags Eiri there. I enjoy torturing Eiri almost as much as Murakami-sensei does. As she writes in the sidebar to Track 2, Volume 1, it's a little kinky.

Since the monkey park is in Eiri's home town, which he avoids visiting because of conflict with his father, I had to come up with another reason for them to visit. I also found other attractions in Kyoto that I thought would be good settings for stories so I decided to make it a trip of several days' duration and write a series of connected stories about it. If all goes according to plan, next up will be a visit to the geisha district Gion and the tea house Ichiriki Ochaya, which is frequented by geisha and is the setting for parts of Arthur Golden's book _Memoirs of a Geisha_. Since some in-depth research is required, don't expect to see it anytime soon.

This story is also an homage of sorts to my friend Ederyn, who refers to Shuichi as "that annoying pink-haired chimp", which is not meant as a compliment. Sorry, Ederyn, I couldn't find a way to leave the annoying pink-haired chimp behind that made sense in the context of the story and the larger arc it's intended to be a part of. Besides, he would be able to find his way back to the hotel even if Eiri had left him at the monkey park.

As always, thanks are due to my beta HawkClowd.

For an amusing account of a visit to the Arashiyama Monkey Park Iwatayama on which I based most of the story, see the following blog post by former software engineer turned industrial designer Ryan Olson of San Francisco, California about his and his wife's September 2006 visit:

.net/travel/japan/japan06-monkeypark/

For a photograph of a sign at the Sagano train station advertising the monkey park, see:

.com/princess_mochi/image/95402257

I hope you enjoyed this. Please leave a review!


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